I don’t believe things happen for a reason, I believe things happen and we create a reason … but I have also noticed there is an almost obsessive tendency to create meaning too quickly, right in the moment that the things are happening.
Mostly we have been taught that the somatic space isn’t a safe space and that we need to think through things rather than feel them … rather ‘be pragmatic’ than ‘get emotional’ about things. So we aren’t taught how to feel comfort and wisdom in the discomfort of the body and rush quickly to headspace where it feels safer and more contained.
This is simply a conditioned response to the somatic resistance to the felt sense of whatever is happening in the moment and, as with any form of conditioning, it can be reprogrammed.
But first it’s important to feel safe in the body … to practice feeling dafe in the body … to recalibrate the habit pattern that takes you out of the body.
So, instead of rushing to find meaning immediately, how about simply starting with trust that this is an inevitable stage in the process; a process that needs space to perturbate … and trust in the felt sense of the pause before chasing the feeling into the mind.
You can begin by taking moments each day to recognise and acknowledge the incredible innate wisdom of the systems that weave a physiological and energetic network throughout your body, holding you through whatever happens without judgement but with an intelligence that doesn’t label anything as either good or bad. And then, whenever a feeling emerges in any situation, practice pausing a moment — just pause … and breathe … and feel. Recognise whatever is happening in your body is ok. Notice with curiosity and without judgment the feelings that are arising. Remind yourself of your body’s innate wisdom and remind yourself that you are safe.
You might then revert to headspace due to the discomfort but, with time and practice, the pauses will become longer, the feelings will become more familiar, your body will begin to feel safer and you may even recognise that the feelings are ultimately managed way better in the felt space than in the thinking space.
It is said that practice makes perfect when in fact practice makes practice. Perfection isn’t the goal, practice is.