varanasi – WELL WORTH BEING

Darling Penelope

It’s 2038 and I am lying on a daybed overlooking the Ganges.
Waiting to die.
They say it’s close now. I am ready.
The mosquito net breathes in the breeze and the smell of the monsoon rain carries over from the east bank. Seductive. Like death. Elusive. Waiting. Just out of reach.
I know you will be happy to receive this letter to reassure you that you found your way. Not only found your way, but that your way found you in your beloved India and that our body will soon be shrouded in sheaths of saffron and laid on stacks of wood from trees not unlike the ones we were so sure were used as stakes to burn us down.
This is your calling.
The witchy part of you is what gets you here. Like the phoenix you rise from the ashes to be burnt voluntarily on another pyre.
Don’t let it go.
Use the fire of past life burnings to light your passage. You’re on your way. Fire is your name.
Fourteen more years I know is longer than you wanted to prolong a life of survival … but it’s short enough to die of a life well lived.
Fully love where you are.
Fully love WHO you are.
Because who you are now is exactly where you are meant to be; and what you do now is exactly how you get to me.
And me is pretty fabulous.
Life gets easier and you find love … the love you didn’t find from another, you find in yourself and in your work and in your community and from your faith. It pours towards you and comes from you and surrounds you. It becomes you.
I became a nun and shaved my head before I lost my mind.
That’s a joke. You’re not going to go mad, but you will be madly happy.
It’s a beautiful tough life you choose for us and the worst is now over.
Have courage to live without fear.
Have courage to lead without shame.
Have courage to love without pain.
Suffering doesn’t go away; you just get sussed enough to give it the middle finger of fierce compassion.
This is your alchemy. This is your gift.
Use it. Live it. Love it.
Be the love you seek. I am waiting … behind the shroud that beckons.
Don’t be afraid.
I am here. You are here. We are here.