I used to go ice bathing.
It was 2008 or 2010. I can’t remember exactly because back then I couldn’t barely remember my name, let alone yours. It wasn’t called ice bathing back then, just Penelope doing her crazy in the freezing Atlantic Ocean, rain or shine, friends waiting on the shore.

It was my trauma resource.
I didn’t call it resourcing back then either … or trauma. I was in survival mode, pulled to the icy ocean so I could feel anything other that the searing emotional angst that ripped through my being … until I could breathe again with the assurance that just as I would warm up again after this swim, so too would I recover from the pain of grieving. I have heard grief expressed as a fantasy broken and I guess that’s what my trauma was — the shattering of so many illusions.

There was no method to it, no breathwork or timing or discipline required. These elemental healing practices are inherent in all of us but we have mostly lost our intuitive knowing of which particular element to work with at each moment and, therefore, get enticed by fads and peer pressure. 

Fortunately there was none of that for me and the compulsion to get into the water drew from the blueprint all I needed in order to work with the cold water. I would walk gradually and meditatively into the water, inch by inch, observing every part of my body and both sensation and response. As the numbing moved up my body, I would push through the water with strong determination, breathing forcefully and calming my mind to the reality that this too would pass. I hadn’t done my first Vipassana yet — that came two or three years later — but of course we all inherently know the law of arising and passing away, we mostly just choose to ignore it as an inconvenience.

Once my breathing had calmed in alignment with my mindset, I would gradually lay on my back, head submerged and limbs outstretched. My heart rate was generally fast, as was my breathing, as my head went from shock to numbness too. Floating there the whole world would disappear as I became euphoric and gradually my whole system went into a state of complete tranquility, merging with the water as my healer.

The water healed my trauma, as it continues to do so to this day. I work with all my emotional turmoil through what I now see as elemental alchemy — some days it’s ice, others it’s heat … and on others I like to climb a mountain in gale force wind or driving rain. Still on other days, I like to sit indoors and simply breathe, chant and observe all the sensation in my body.

As a Craniosacral Therapist, Integral Coach, Meditation Teacher and, most recently, a qualified Mountain Guide, I would like to invite you to connect with yourself through the elements so that you can more effectively integrate the full capacity of who you are.

If you need guidance, you can contact me for one-on-one sessions either in person or online.